How I Used Johnny Depp For A Holiday Cookie Contest

Marlon Brando says these famous lines in the film entitled On The Waterfont --  "You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it."

I feel you Marlon.  I feel you.

That's how I felt when I attended a recent holiday party and cookie exchange.  I was robbed from winning the prize.  Ya see, there was a friendly competition in who would have the best cookies.  However, it wasn't for the best tasting cookies.  The winner would be decided by how the cookies were presented.  It was all about the packaging at this party!

Oh Crap, I thought to myself when I realized this stipulation.  We all know my cooking isn't the prettiest or most presentable.  Taste is usually all I have going for me.  They need to look pretty or be in some Martha Stewart hand-crafted package??  I'm screwed.  I'm really screwed.  I'll never win.

While I sulked, a commercial starring Johnny Depp in his new film The Tourist comes on.  Mmmm, Johnny Depp!  Sexy Johnny Depp!  He can help me save the day..... I've got it!

No woman I know can resist Johnny Depp.  If I could just find a gorgeous picture of him, preferrably with his shirt off and then write up a poem as if it were written by him.... Yes, yes!  This is going to be good.  I can make this work!  Especially when I find a photo like this:






Here's what I came up for the package presentation of my cookies (see below photo):





In case you have trouble seeing or reading the picture above, the red and green polka-dot cookie box has a photo of Johnny Depp holding a cigarette.  He is also bare chested.  Below his photo is the following poem that I wrote but claimed as his own words:

"Listen to me, my beauty
Mandy's cookies are the best!
Delicious, flavorful and savory
Just like my lips and chest.

Let's eat these treats together
As we stroll, dance and dip.
If you vote for her dessert,
I will kiss you on the lip." 


Not bad, right?  I was pleased with myself and I hoped it was just the ticket I needed to win the cookie contest. 

I mean, who could resist a box with bare chested Johnny Depp on it reciting a love poem.  And cookies inside it too.





Sadly though, I was defeated in my efforts.  The winner of the cookie contest was just a bit more clever than me and had an even sexier idea than Johnny Depp, if you can believe that. 

That's right, the winner - ES - hand crafted little Santa pants and Elf pants.  Then she placed chocolate oreo balls and peanut butter balls inside each pants leg.  Therefore, no matter whose pants you got into (Dirty Santa or Buddy the Elf), you discovered tasty balls! 

I'm not kidding people!  This is what I was up against!  So yeah.... ES and her balls in the pants packaging was indeed victorious!  Maybe next year I'll come up with something even better.

The pressure is on!  When you're up against packages that look like this (below photo):




then you have to be smarter, more creative and ruthless!  At least I've got another year to come up with a genius plan.  Maybe in 2011, I'll be a contender! 

Until then, feel free to borrow or steal my idea for exploiting Johnny Depp and his bare chest for any of your holiday gatherings and functions.

Best wishes to you!

Mini Pumpkin Cobblers, Two Cookie Recipes And A Partridge In A Pear Tree....

I've had a busy week of baking.  I'm attending a holiday party this weekend and I have guests in town right now; therefore I did the prep work ahead of time so I'm not stressing last-minute in the kitchen. 

Here are the things I'm bringing to the festive event:


Mini Pumpkin Cobblers
(Serves 16)
Adapted from Me and My Pink Mixer

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1 large can pumpkin puree
12 oz. can evaporated milk (or skim milk)
2 eggs
1 egg white (or just use 3 eggs)
1 cup sugar

1 tsp salt
1 tbsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 box of yellow cake mix
1/2 cup butter (1 stick), melted
1 cup granola for topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Generously grease a mini Bundt pan (or muffin pan or bread pan) with cooking spray.  In a large bowl, mix the pumpkin, milk, eggs, sugar, salt, nutmeg, pumpkin pie spice. Pour and separate evenly into the mini piece pan.  Melt the butter in a small dish in the microwave. Open the cake mix.  Sprinkle cake mix on top.  Then drizzle with butter and top with granola.  Bake for 50 minutes or until set.  Cool for about fifteen minutes then place in the fridge.  The cobbler does need to be left alone for a few hours to set before serving.

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Double Chocolate Cranberry Cookies
(Makes four dozen)
Adapted from The Second Half of My Life






12 ounces semi sweet (or milk) chocolate chips
1 cup all-natural, organic flour
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Melt chocolate chips in the microwave until smooth.  Stir and reheat a few times if needed.  Set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.

In a separate large bowl, use an electric hand mixer to beat butter and sugars until light and fluffy.  Add eggs and vanilla; beat until combined. Then beat in in melted chocolate. With mixer on low, gradually add flour mixture; beat just until combined.  Fold in the dried cranberries.

Use a tsp ice cream scooper to drop cookies onto parchment-lined baking sheets. Bake the cookies until edges are dry and tops are cracked, 15 to 17 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through. Remove from oven and cool.  I made four dozen cookies. 


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Low-Fat Lemon Cookies

(Makes two dozen cookies)

Adapted from Healthy Weigh Online







1/2 cup butter or margarine
3/4 cup plus 1/4 cup sugar, divided
zest from two lemons (about 3 tbsp)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 egg
1/3 cup milk
Juice from two lemons - about 1/3 cup - divided into two
1 and  3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Zest and juice your two lemons, separating them in two different small bowls .  In a large mixing bowl, beat the butter or margarine with an electric mixer for about two minutes.   Add 3/4 cup sugar, lemon zest, baking powder, and baking soda. Beat until combined.  Add in egg, milk, and half of the lemon juice.  Pour in the flour and beat with mixer.  Drop dough by rounded teaspoons on cookie sheets that have parchment paper.  Bake for 10-12 minutes or until edges are slightly browned. When cookies are almost done, stir together the remaining 1/4 cup sugar and the remaining lemon juice in a small bowl.  Use a paint brush to brush the liquid on the cookies.  Let cool for about three minutes before eating.  Enjoy!

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And let us not forget a Partridge In A Pear Tree:




Danny Partridge anyone!?   HAHAHAHAH!  And if you've never heard of the Partridge family, then shame on you!  Look them up!  They're just as groovy as the Brady Bunch! 

Have a great weekend!  I'll be back on Sunday to post my meal plan for the upcoming week