Loser Cook Award: My Bread Machine Strikes Again, Giving Me The Smackdown!

Well I suppose my bread machine somehow heard me talking smack about him over a week ago.  There I was bragging about the fact that I had made three diffierent delicious looking and tasting breads.  How I had gotten the best of him after all.   That's when he decided to unleash his mechanical powers.  He decided to revolt against me.  And he served it up well too. 

I got served this:






Believe it or not, this above photo is a loaf of bread.  Or it should be anyway.  Just a basic sweet bread recipe gone wrong.  Somewhere between kneading and rising cycle number two, my machine quit mixing on me.  It never smoothed down the flour.  This was the end result since I never bothered to check on it.  I mean, forgive me, but I thought the purpose of a bread maker was to walk away and let the device do all the work for you??  But this is what I have to deal with! 

Let's look at it from another angle, shall we?



Seriously?  WTH?  Or better yet, WTF?!  Does this bread look like it has a deformity or what?  Perhaps I could rename it Cyclops bread?  My husband called it "Turkey bread" because it looks like it has a drumstick or leg sticking out from its side just like a piece of poultry. 

Have you ever seen anything quite like this?  Only me folks!  Only I could create something so outrageous and hideous!

Here's yet another side of the bird bread too:




Wow, it really does seem to have two bird legs on top of it~!  LOL!   A-mazing!
The sad part of it all is that I don't try to mess these things up.  I really don't.  I want to make beautiful looking food, great tasting food.  But somehow, some way, things go wrong for me!  I don't always understand how or why but they do.

Oh well, it is what it is.  And this is pretty darn funny, I have to admit it!  My husband Kirk and I laughed at it and just stared in shock over it for several minutes. 

And cutting this loaf of crazy bread was no easy picnic either!  It was quite difficult actually.  When I sliced it all up, the bread just fell all over the place.  There was no making it look attractive.  No how, no way!





So I hereby give myself another Loser Cook Award because I don't know anyone who could produce a loaf of bread this ugly.  There you have it.  I'm a loser.  My bread machine is the champion and delivered a serious WWE style smackdown in my face! 

Who knows what strange things I'll be creating in the kitchen next?  Cooking is an adventure, that's for sure!